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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29279835">You've Got To Be Here!</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TakeItFromMe/pseuds/TakeItFromMe'>TakeItFromMe</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Suicidal Thoughts, but like it does not occur it is just brought up, everyone loves misaki, self-harm mention</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:34:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,927</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29279835</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TakeItFromMe/pseuds/TakeItFromMe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Misaki Okusawa is tired- exhausted, even- but asking for help seems out of the question. On one particularly bad night, Kokoro gives Misaki a call that seems unusual. Despite being doubtful, Misaki shows up when Kokoro asks to see her. What exactly is Kokoro not telling her?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You've Got To Be Here!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hello !! warning for self harm ment and suicidal ideation but it's pretty quick and only brought up once so dw abt it. this is a soft fic i prommy</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Misaki Okusawa was not one to complain. Maybe here and there, but only over the simple inconveniences. If it was personal, then it stayed personal. That was how she preferred to be. Nobody cared to hear much about her problems, anyway. Who would want to listen to her vent about all of her private worries when nobody even truly knew her anyway? To the band, she was merely a manager, separate from the beloved entity of Michelle. Maybe Kanon would have been willing to listen, but she had appointed herself the role of being Kanon's support- it couldn't be the other way around. In other words, Misaki was not supposed to talk about herself. She was not supposed to be weak.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Yet as she found herself sitting cross-legged on the bathroom floor, unable to catch her breath nor stop the hot tears rolling down her face, she wasn't sure how much she cared about keeping up any sort of put-together appearance anymore. She could only think of comfort, maybe even a hug that was really meant for </span>
  <em>
    <span>her</span>
  </em>
  <span>, not any bear costume personality. For her. But what worth did she even have outside of that persona? She didn’t matter as much as the suit that anyone else could just as easily fit into. Misaki, without Michelle, was replaceable. Even her closer friends, Rimi or Kanon, easily had better options than her. She was always the second choice. The afterthought.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She could disappear and it would never make a difference. Someone else could be Michelle, and three out of four would never even know. The band was formed with the intended goal of making people smile, but Misaki couldn’t even find one in herself. She wasn’t fit to be a member of HaroHapi at all. She was an imposter at the core, a liar, a fake. Everyone was an important member of the band, but Misaki’s work didn’t take skill. Kokoro’s singing could put a smile on anyone’s face, Kanon’s drumming was the skill that kept the upbeat trademark, Kaoru’s guitar was admirable as an effortless talent. Even Hagumi’s bass, often overlooked, was arguably the most significant contribution to keeping the rhythm. If the band were missing any other person, it would fall apart. Misaki didn’t do anything special, though. All her position took was organization skills, not any sort of special talent.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It would be easy for her to hurt herself, she thought. Most idols didn’t have that option; revealing clothes left little room for hiding scars. Who would ever check inside Michelle? No- she quickly shook the thought away. She wouldn’t allow herself to fall down that kind of hole. It wouldn’t make her feel any better, anyhow. She pulled her knees up closer to her chest, buried her head in them, and cried harder. Nothing would make her feel better.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Suddenly, she was startled out of her spell by the sound of her phone vibrating in the pocket of her hoodie. Misaki sat up and pulled it out. Through blurry vision, she saw Kokoro’s name flashing across the screen. In any other case, Misaki wouldn’t have picked up at a time like this, but the band had been discussing concert preparations for the weekend earlier that day. She figured the call was regarding some question about it that likely could have answered itself, but this is what half of her was paid to do. She took a moment to compose herself, wiping her eyes and taking a few deep breaths to clear her nose, then swiped to answer. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Misaki!” Kokoro’s voice rang into her ear, chipper as ever. Misaki went to respond, but found that she couldn’t seem to make her voice work. Kokoro continued on. “I forgot to tell you something today, so come over!” Something about the urgency of her request seemed out of character, but Misaki barely noticed. She searched for her voice, then responded. “Kokoro, it’s eight o’clock. I can’t come over right now.” Misaki cringed at how weak she sounded. Kokoro didn’t skip a beat. “It’s about tomorrow, though! Please, Misaki!” The brunette sighed in defeat. “Okay, give me a minute. I’ll be over soon.” That seemed to be a good enough answer for Kokoro, as the call ended from her side without a response. Misaki sighed again and slowly got to her feet.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When she shuffled over to the mirror and gazed in at her face, Misaki was disgusted with herself. She looked like a mess. Her eyes and nose were red from wiping them too frequently. The hair around her face was dampened and taped to her cheeks and forehead from sweat and tears. Misaki didn’t know how long she had been sitting in here since she got home, but it had clearly been long enough. She quickly washed her face and tried to smooth out her hair. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What does it matter? Kokoro likely won’t even see any difference. I always look miserable, and she never seems to notice. </span>
  </em>
  <span>After she was done washing up, Misaki slipped on her tennis shoes and left the house. Kokoro’s estate was a thirty-five minute walk, but she would be waiting patiently, Misaki was certain.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As she walked, she thought about the way Kokoro had behaved when she called her. She had sounded different, but Misaki didn’t catch onto that until she had already hung up. She was clearly planning something. Kokoro never invited just one person over to make any decisions for the band. If she did, she had never invited Misaki. Plus, she really could have just discussed it over the phone. Misaki considered the different possible reasons for Kokoro’s strange request as she made her way down the sidewalk. After she couldn’t think of many more reasons, she began to let her mind wander freely. There were only a few turns and the streets were relatively empty, but Misaki still felt slightly unnerved by the time of night she was walking at. It was not only the idea of criminals, but also the realization that she would have to walk home at an even later time of night after this. Whatever Kokoro needed had better be good.</span>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Half an hour later, Misaki was being escorted into Kokoro’s house by the Tsurumaki agents. They walked slower than usual, and with her in between two agents, she was forced to keep pace instead of going ahead. When she was finally brought to Kokoro’s dining room, she was stunned. Kokoro, Kanon, Kaoru, and Hagumi were all seated at the table. Kanon smiled timidly at her, as if to give a silent apology for the dishonest phone call from Kokoro. Misaki didn’t know what to say. “Misaki!” Kokoro squealed, jumping up to give her a heavy hug. Misaki returned an awkward half-hug. “I’m sorry we couldn’t have Michelle here too! I tried to call her a million times, but she never picked up!” Oh, right. Misaki’s backup phone, specifically for Michelle, had been sitting in her room with a dead battery since yesterday afternoon. Her mistake. She’d make sure to charge it when she got home.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Th-That’s alright…” Misaki said, looking for some polite way to say </span>
  <em>
    <span>So why did you call me over here for some surprise group meeting at nine P.M.? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Kokoro answered this without her asking. “Kanon and I noticed you seemed sad, so I told her having a meeting would make you feel a lot better,” she began. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Is that seriously what this is?, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Misaki thought. “But then you didn’t, and you seemed even sadder the next day.” Kanon added on, “I told Kokoro-chan that I would try to talk to you, but I never got the chance… And you seemed really down today. I-I’m sorry Misaki-chan, we were all really worried about you, so…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I told everyone to come here!” Kokoro smiled. She was still standing in front of Misaki. Misaki looked around at everyone who was seated, somewhat taken aback. “We came here after the meeting ended, since you left early, Mii-kun,” Hagumi said. Misaki felt a sudden pang of guilt. Yes, she had gone home early during the meeting today- however, she thought everyone else would have left too, since she was the one mostly, if not entirely, on top of preparations. “I know you usually write our songs for us, but I wanted to do something to make you smile. So we wrote something for you instead!” Kokoro spread out her arms.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It is from us to you. This above all; to thine own self be true…” Kaoru murmured. Hagumi opened a binder that Misaki had only now noticed was set on the table and produced two stapled sheets of loose-leaf paper. She got up and walked over to Misaki, handing the papers to her. Misaki wordlessly took them from her and began to read the first lines. The lyrics were written in glittery blue pen ink in Kaoru’s handwriting. There were no cross-outs. They must have made drafts, she thought. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>You've got to be here!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Or else we can't start!!!!!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Misaki frowned at first. She almost felt as though she were being guilted by those first two lines. Nonetheless, she continued to read. As she did, her frown disappeared. It wasn’t like that at all, then.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>...These times when we laugh with every dear one</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Cannot have even</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>One person missing!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>You've got to be here!!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They wrote this for her? Truthfully, Misaki didn’t even know Kokoro could write lyrics so well on her own, if she really had.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The bonds glitter as they connect us</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Flying around in butterfly loops~!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The place we're going to is sure to be happy♪</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The petals of our smiles</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Flit up towards the world</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Happy! Lucky! Smile! Yay!!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As Misaki finished reading the paper, she didn’t even notice that she had been crying. Only when she pulled the paper away from her face did she see the wet drops quickly staining it. She immediately wiped her eyes, but it barely stopped the tears. Contrarily, she started crying harder. Misaki did not share her emotions with other people. She didn’t confide in other people or complain about her problems. Everything that bothered her, she kept to herself. But now, she couldn’t hide that she had been hurting. Even without saying it, her response to the song was likely enough.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kokoro almost seemed worried by this. “Did it not work?” she asked, not quite sure how to respond to Misaki’s crying. Kanon got out of her seat, followed by Kaoru, and rushed to hug Misaki. “I’m sorry, Misaki-chan!” she cried. When she pulled away, Misaki wiped her eyes again and looked over at Kokoro. “No, it’s perfect, Kokoro,” she said. “But you’re not smiling,” Kokoro pointed out. Misaki managed a smile through the tears. “It just… meant a lot to me. I’m happy, really. Thank you.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kokoro nearly shoved Kanon out of the way to give Misaki another hug. This time, Misaki returned it in full. “You mean a lot to us, Mii-kun,” Hagumi said, hugging Misaki from the side. Kanon and Kaoru joined in. Surrounded by her bandmates, Misaki was overwhelmed with emotions. “Thank you,” she repeated, this time to everyone.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe Misaki was important to the band. Not only as Michelle, but as their manager, too. Maybe Kokoro, Kaoru, and Hagumi really saw Misaki as a vital member, even when separated from Michelle. Maybe Kanon wanted to be there for her sometimes, too. Maybe HaroHapi needed her. As she stood there with all of her bandmates, her <em>friends</em>, Misaki figured that maybe she needed them, too. </span>
</p>
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